The art of letting go
I have been a yoga teacher since 2012, specifically a Bikram yoga instructor. Bikram yoga is a series of 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises done in a room heated to 105 degrees with 45-55% humidity. It’s been around since the 70s, and trust me, it just works.
In 2012, I decided not to go to medical school, I graduated from graduate school, got married, then went to LA for 9 weeks of twice daily hot yoga classes and hours upon hours of posture clinics, yogic philosophy and teachings. When I came home from LA, I taught yoga full time for 5 years at at least 5 different studios in North Carolina before taking a pause for PA school. Since then, my yoga teaching, just like my practice, has ebbed and flowed with my profession, growing my family, moving, and other life events. It is a stark reminder that there is a season for everything, and there is always time to come back to your yoga mat. I had a teacher (Jane) who used to say that in times where you could practice a lot of yoga, you were filling up your yoga bank for the time periods where you couldn’t get to your mat.
It’s been through my yoga practice and my teaching that I keep coming back to the notion of surrender, or in other words letting go. In yoga this is referred to as Ishvara Pranidhana - the purpose is to release the need to control outcomes, releasing ego driven desires, surrendering to whatever is to come because there is so much out of our control.
I see this surrender or letting go in my medical practice. The blessing and the curse of patient autonomy is the ability to manage (and sometimes control) expectations for ones own health. Sometimes this happens to a fault. For example - I can’t take blood pressure medicine because if I take this supplement or if I do this exercise routine my blood pressure will come down. Another example - I don’t want to take a statin so let me restrict my diet even more and give up all dairy products even thought cheese brings me immense joy and repeat the lipid panel in 3 months. Knowledge, control, and power (and lifestyle medicine!) are all wonderful and a privilege, but it can hinder patients from moving forward in their health. More specifically, this need to control sometimes prolongs disease prevention and leads to worsened outcomes or may require more significant treatment to get under control. To let go or to surrender to medical advice is a practice, and it requires patients to trust themselves and their provider. Sometimes this trust is a choice, and not necessarily a sensation or feeling. Especially in today’s complex healthcare paradigm.
In yoga, we talk a lot about surrender or letting go. Letting go of the breath (exhale), letting go of the expectations for the posture or the practice, letting go of your stubborn piriformis in tree pose! Bikram yoga, is a form of Hatha yoga. Hatha yoga is focused on the physical-ness of the postures. It is also focused on the opposites throughout the practice. “Hatha” is a word that embodies opposites itself - “ha” means sun and “tha” means moon. Inhale and exhale. Contract and relax. Extension and flexion. Standing and lying. Asana (the posture) and savasana (the rest). In yoga postures, I will often instruct students “what can you relax in order to get deeper into the posture.” This happens a lot in the floor series postures such as wind removing pose, camel, and half toritoise - but you can really find moments in every posture of what to relax to get a deeper experience. Sometimes what we need to let go of is simply the struggle. In Camel pose, a posture that can sometimes bring up great physical and emotional discomfort, I will remind folks that if you enjoyed whatever it is you experienced - then enjoy it! Because this ecstasy moment will pass. If you hated what you just experienced - then simply let it go because this uncomfortable moment will too pass.
One can think of yogic philosophy and allopathic medicine as opposites as well - complimenting each other in a beautiful way just like the sun and moon cannot exist without each other, just like activity and relaxation can’t exist without each other. You can’t have good days without bad days - or else how do you know when you’re having a really good day? You can have both opposing, and the ability to surrender and let go is a practice that helps individuals bring them to exactly what they need in that moment. I encourage you to put down your human-ness at times, and to stop fighting whatever it is that you are fighting (that’s your ego!). Every day you can choose what to let go of. Some days are easier than others, for sure. I’ll leave you with a saying I often say to my yoga students: relax even if it’s not relaxing.
